I have a few tells. To me they are very obvious. They surface when I am stressed/anxious/under-pressure/overcaffienated.
I have them all right now. This is not normal. I am not "working from home", I am sorta trying to do work while a whole mess of other stuff is happening. Which is fine. I wrote an email explaining to the students that my main goal now was to wobble in for a landing with the semester with the class. Do what we can when we can and sorta hope things will be ok.
That doesn't mean I haven't been doing some research related things. But out of order, probably badly or sorta ok but f*ck it this will have to do. Things were almost derailing already before spring break. I got a bunch of HST proposals in (because of course) but not every one of them got a last polish. fine.
I am submitted proposals where I can but sometimes it won't be a nice looking as my best work. It may not be. There is some stuff going down. The kids are home from school for weeks now and may go completely feral in Minecraft. Popping into the store feels like a heist from Mission Impossible. It's weird.
So while I still feel the pressure to produce (will the powers-that-be take this into account for tenure, at the moment they say they will but how?) and I sorta am? But focus has gone out the window. Doing the right project at the right time? In order? Ha! I just randomly grab A Thing and hope I don't get too distracted till its done.
Telescope proposals (all delayed, all for telescopes currently shuttered), funding proposals (hmmm what will the Federal budget look like when these get reviewed?) and papers (how am I paying for all these?). all the while working with people who are also just trying their best at home.
So I got some stuff done. To counteract some of the anxiety I am having. I don't expect others to. Please grade accordingly.
